NOW!

9 months have gone by since the end of my 2008 new years resolution. I proudly announced then that my 2009 new years resolution would be a simple quest to be here now. The sign reads "YOU ARE HERE" and all I have to do is obey it right? 9 months later I am not so proud to admit that in fact, I have done everything possible to NOT be "in the now" for most of 2009. I have resisted every urge to truly live simply because I have been too afraid to come to terms with a major obstacle blocking my way. This obstacle has put a huge strain on my life, my marriage and any hopes of "living in the now." It has sent me down a dark and angry road and led me to the brink of divorce and true heart break. My wife is to blame - I think? There is no way my persistent belief that we should not change or grow in this life has anything to do with it. Right? It's her constant and unrelenting desire to bring a child into our life that has created all this drama. Right? For the past 9 months she has dragged me (kicking and screaming) to foster parenting classes, CPR courses and social worker "home visits." Each step towards the reality of becoming a foster parent left me more frustrated with what the future had to offer. Lost in a world of resentment and depression, there has been no room to consider my one and only 2009 resolution. There has been no "you are here" or "now" in my life! Instead I have filled my days with dread, regret and a clinging hope my wife would eventually give up on this crazy idea. She has not given up and we have reached the edge of the cliff. Off she jumps and I am left with a choice to make.

The call comes while I am at work. My life is about to change whether I want it to or not. No more dread, worry or fear. No more standing on the edge looking into an unknown abyss.

I enter the house and Kelly hands me a 5 pound - 3 week old baby boy...

...Kip, welcome to NOW!

Game Over!

I love these signs! You see them at trail heads, visitor centers, a mountain pass or just about any place that someone wants to know "where they are." The answer is always staring them right in the face:

YOU ARE HERE

I have had more than a few people enquire as to what is next? "What are you going to do now?" Most are surprised to learn that this resolution/adventure is done! Truth is (as I said back when this blog was created) it was a simple New Years Resolution. 2008 is over and with it comes the end of the resolution itself. To continue it in some cheap attempt to "make it better" or "keep it going" would not only be lame but (in my opinion) disrespectful to the entire resolution itself! I was in a dark place at the end of 2007. The death of a parent is a major blow in a person's life and those of you who have been through it know exactly what I mean! This resolution brought me out of that darkness and into the light. How could I ask any more of it? I have a couple simple resolutions for 2009 but they are not "blog worthy" by any means. If you read all or any part of this blog, thank you! We are all part of the same "journey" after all. May we all continue to read the signs:

YOU ARE HERE

I have decided that the most important "resolution" I can make in 2009 is to obey the sign. Just BE HERE NOW! Wake up every day and realize that I am here. You are here. We are here. What we are to become or what we have been will never compare to what we are now! Society keeps trying to teach me how to prepare for my future. Nature keeps telling me it does not matter. My 2008 New Years Resolution taught me that both are right.

I am alive! I am HERE!

December

12th Adventure: 24 hours of 24 hours of Kip: Wow! What a great end to a great year of Adventures! I left Telluride at 2:30 pm December 30th. 25 hours later I paddled to shore on the lake having re-visited every adventure in at least some way. What an amazing honor it has been to take part in this resolution! It was so cool to re-live all those magic moments of the last year. My favorite was the lake. Both times! The first time brought me as close to my Mom as I have ever been. Then, on New Years Eve 2008, I am blessed with rowing ashore to find my beautiful wife with our two dogs and our dear friend Lisa waiting for me. Once again the tears were flowing. What is it about this lake and me crying?? As Chris McCandless wrote in his diary; "Happiness is best when shared." It has indeed been a great joy in my life to share these experiences with my loved ones. They have "set me free, lifted me up and saved my soul!"

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED:

• If you think your life sucks...it will


• Any day "out" is better then any day "in"


• What you resist persists


• A hug is better than a kiss


• Nudity is not a crime


• Trees are people too


• The day you let go is the day you are forgiven


• Comforts are underrated


• Carbon Monoxide Poisoning SUCKS


• Family is an amazing word


• There is no way to happiness...Happiness is the way


• The mountains don't care about you


• There is a reason it's called Mother Nature


• Love is a gift


• Life is all the above

WHAT I RECOMMEND:

• Watch more sunsets...less TV


• Life is too short to say "I wish I could..."


• Hug someone every day (remember trees are people to)


• BE HERE NOW


• Run around naked outside just once (or twice)


• Don't do it for 24 hours


• Realize that the beaten path is just that..."beaten"


• Trespass


• Thank your parents for everything


• Dance alone


• Think less...Feel more


• Listen to Michael Franti


• Ride a fixed gear bike downhill with no brakes


• Don't blame me if you crash


• Don't blame anyone for anything


• LOVE THIS LIFE

Happy New Year!

Finale!

The time has come and the day is here! I hope to complete this last adventure before the end of 2008. All I have to do is;

• Get stuck in a truck
• Bike in the snow outside of Moab
• Ski into Yankee Boy Basin
• "Camp" in the Utah desert
• Ride my road bike in Cortez
• Try not to piss off a mountain lion by the Uncompahgre river
• Float around on a lake
• Climb a peak near Courthouse Mountain
• Go see Mr. Tree
• Spend 24 seconds in the nude

Talk to you after 24 hours of 24 hours of kip!

End!

Life is full of endings. The picture above is my latest! Off goes my truck after it's second Carbon Monoxide Poisoning "episode" in the last 10 days. 345,000 miles and my faithful truck of the last 8 years is done - Just like that! 2008 is almost done as well and the realization that my year of adventures must end is here. Like my truck, I am resisting the end! I am fighting against it as much as possible but the fight is futile. The end of 2008 will soon be here. One last 24 hour solo adventure is on the horizon... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm???????

November

11Th Adventure: 24 hours in the nude. It is hard for me to believe I actually thought this would be a good adventure. It was NOT! I suffered, bitched and moaned my way through this one right to the bitter end. It all started out with me getting very sick the night before I left. I was driving home from work and I started to feel nauseous, dizzy, confused, and sick to my stomach. The next day, I was 3 hours into the drive to the desert and ready to call it quits! Again, I felt nauseous and dizzy and I was sure I was coming down with some kind of wicked flu. I could hardly walk when I got out of the truck. After a short stroll with the dogs I felt a little better and decided to continue on. I found a nice camp spot for the night and woke up feeling much better physically but I was no so jazzed on the weather. My water bottle had frozen inside my tent! Something told me a night in the nude was not going to be too pleasant. I decided to go for it anyway and spent the better part of the day driving around and seeking a secluded campsite with a whole bunch of fire wood! After some sketchy 4WD action and some crafty road building, the "site" was found. I had a great view off a slick rock bench overlooking the beginning of White Canyon. A perfect spot for me to get my white ass nude! The truck got in a little fight with a rock but besides that it was all good. Once again though I was feeling like crap! Not only was I dizzy and nauseous, I was also very "spaced-out" and time seemed to be moving in slow motion? What the hell kind of flu was this? I did my best to feel better by having a shot of Bourbon and a Busch tall boy. It worked! I decided to do a "test run" around 4pm just to see how miserable I was going to be for this next adventure. Observe:

After a spectacular sunset, I was off to bed early to get a good night's sleep with my clothes on. Morning came and my clothes were off! The fire was stoked up and wood gathering became my highest priority. Why I chose to gather wood today in the nude instead of yesterday with clothes on is beyond me? Next I had to build a big old rock fire pit that would direct the maximum amount of heat towards my naked body. Again, it might have been a better choice to have done this yesterday but it was too late now. I was feeling good physically but my emotions were all messed up. I felt depressed, irritable, out of touch and completely disconnected from the experience. I had originally hoped for some type of " spiritual journey" through all of this but it was clearly not going to happen! Time was dragging and I was bored. If anyone read the post below this, you might have noticed some extra "rules" I added to this adventure. Not only could I not wear any clothes but I could not use a blanket or a sleeping pad or even crawl inside my tent when I got cold. I was also going to try and not eat or drink either? What was I thinking? Funny how these rules seem so easy to create in the comfort of your own home but once you are out "there" things change. Night finally arrived and I attempted to take a snooze in front of the fire. Worthless! I needed to be on a rotisserie. My front side was burning up while my back side was ice cold. During one roll-over, a scorpion came crawling out of the sand I had just been laying on. "That's it!" I screamed, and it became a full -on rule breaking barrage! Blankets, sleeping pads, food, water and a stove were all brought down to the fire pit. I dined on Butter Herb Pasta with Crab Meat, Pretzels, Pistachios Nuts and Pepper Jack Cheese. I pounded water and washed it all down with a beer. Kip anarchy was complete! Rules are made to be broken and it felt great to break them. If you can't rebel against yourself who can you rebel against? A few hours later I was so cold I gave up and headed to the tent to sleep with the dogs. Sunrise happened shortly after and I was awake and feeling guilty. All by myself - out here in this beautiful place - during a beautiful sunrise I had broke my own rules and now I was guilty? "Hmmm... I wonder if my Mormon upbringing has anything to do with this?" All those broken rules and yet as I stood there wondering how close I was to the 24 hour mark, I looked down and noticed I was still naked. I had done it! I had gone 24 hours without putting on one stitch of clothing! I celebrated by putting on as many stitches of clothing as possible and going back to bed. That night I watched "into the Wild" on my MP3 player. It had been exactly one year since I had seen it the first time and the idea for all these crazy adventures was born. What would 2008 had been like if I had not seen that movie? My guess is my life would have been a little easier but a lot less interesting! I had two more days in the desert but this sickness plagued me again as I spent the next day driving out to Blanding for more water. Is it possible I don't like the desert anymore? Why was I depressed out here? Why was I so irritable and agitated? Why did my head hurt so bad? Why was I so tired? Fast forward to the drive home. I am half way between Monticello, Utah and Norwood, Colorado. I feel like absolute shit and suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks; "I get sick whenever I drive somewhere." I pull the truck over, pop the hood and discover two missing bolts on the header and exhaust pouring into the engine compartment! Now I like to think I am not the dumbest guy in the world but it took me 7 days to figure this out? I am the dumbest guy in the world! Just to confirm all this madness I went home and looked it up. Below are the most common symptom's associated with Carbon Monoxide Poisoning:

Headache Dizziness Nausea Flu-like symptoms, fatigue Shortness of breath on exertion Impaired judgment Chest pain Confusion Depression Hallucinations Agitation Vomiting Abdominal pain Drowsiness Visual changes Fainting Seizure Memory and walking problems

Not able to follow the rules!*

*Added by the author

Maybe my six days in the desert was not as bad as I had thought? Maybe my 24 hours in the nude was a good time? I doubt that one but at least I can be reassured of one thing; I probably still like the desert- just a little less when I am suffering from Carbon Monoxide Poisoning.

Up next!

The picture above was taken in May. I have decided to relive this moment for my November adventure. That's right, 24 hours in the nude - in the desert - with nothing but a fire!! No shirt, no hat, no gloves, no socks or pants. No clothing at all! Plus, no sleeping bag or pad, no blanket, no pillow and no man made shelter of any kind! The month of May might have been a better time to do this but would it have been adventurous? The weather forecast is for a high of 61 degrees and a low of 27 degrees. Sounds perfect?!? Talk to you after 24 hours in the nude!

October

10th Adventure: 24 hours in a tree. This was an interesting idea for an adventure that turned out a little more challenging then I thought it would be. As the Led Zeppelin song goes though, it was "nobody's fault but mine!" I headed into the tree a little after noon and despite three different utility cords tied to my pants, the climb itself went well. I got about 50 feet up and decided to call it home for the next 24 hours. I hauled everything up and began to set up. Right off the bat I have to say that Ponderosa's smell awesome! Apparently they are known for that. Check this out: http://www.mountainsmagnificent.com/rocky-mountains-ponderosa-pine/rocky-mountains-ponderosa-pine-tree-sniffing.html I made "camp" with a bunch of utility cord and some old rope I found in the storage unit. Mistake #1: "Old rope I found in the storage unit?" Are you kidding me? If you plan on tying a hammock and a hanging chair onto a tree 50 feet off the ground, bring some rope you trust! I went to set up the hammock and was immediately disappointed in it's quality. I had bought this $9.99 "camper hammock" thinking it would work just fine. Mistake #2: If you plan on sleeping in a hammock 50 feet above the ground, buy a nice one! The anxiety I went through was in no way worth the $9.99 "deal" I received. I reinforced it where I could and took it for a test drive. It was actually more comfortable than I had expected! Once I was prepared for nighttime (it's all about the nighttime on these adventures) I sat in the chair and literally began to just "hang out." I immediately had a strange intuition that something was not right. I got out of the chair and checked the knot. It was slipping and about to come undone! Had the tree warned me? Mistake #3: Before you decide to tie knots your life depends on, know how to tie them! I have a great friend who is an avid climber and he offered all sorts of help with this trip. Maybe I should have drank a couple beers with him and learned some basic knots. Stupid! After my failed knot discovery I was a complete wreck. I imagined the consequences of a 50 foot free-fall to the ground below while sitting on my ass in a hanging chair. No way the results of that could have been good! I checked and re-checked every "ghetto knot" I had tied but I was still convinced they were all going to fail! I ate dinner and nighttime arrived. Imagine how secure I felt laying down on that piece of shit hammock secured to the tree with my superior knot tying skills! What an awful night. I swear it was dark for three days! I had dreams of being trapped in a burning house and falling off a mountain. Most of the night was spent awake being cold and not even daring to scratch an itch for fear of a complete hammock collapse. When sharing this story with my wife she responded, "why didn't you just sleep in the chair?" "That's a good idea" I said. Too bad I was not smart enough to think of it! Daylight finally came and I rushed out of the hammock like it was on fire. I pulled my sleeping bag out, got my knife and immediately cut the ropes and sent that sleep ruining, fear generating, bad dream magnet, $9.99 p.o.s. tumbling to the earth below. Instant satisfaction! The direct sunlight did not hit the tree till after 10am so I just sat in the chair and waited for warmth. It was a magical time. Birds, squirrels, bee's and moths all scurried through the tree paying no attention to this human intruder. I was living in a living tree surrounded by life. The tree seemed both unimpressed and unaffected by my presence. It does this every day. It did it before I was born and it will do it after I am gone. A quick Google search reveals a Ponderosa tree can live 300 to 600 years! I am guessing my tree friend has and will live forever. He's just that cool! Take away the three mistakes above and it was a great 24 hours. Add them back in and it was another great adventure! As I climbed out of the tree, I gave it a huge hug and promised I would return...maybe just for another hug.

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I am back from 24 hours in a tree. It was a cold, scary and long night. Everything else went great! I will post more soon but here is a "taste" for anyone interested.

Up Next!

I used to live in a small cabin in the woods. It was a sweet spot! I would often take a little hike and pass by this big, old Ponderosa. I liked the tree because I think it knew just how bad-ass it was! No other tree around it compared. I went and saw it today. It is still one bad-ass tree and I have decided to honor it by spending my next adventure "all up in there." October is here and it's time for 24 hours in a tree!

September

9th Adventure: 24 hours on a mountain. I just got back from a great adventure spent on top of 12,152 foot Courthouse Mountain! I was really in my element on this one and my campsite was spectacular. For the past 2 weeks I have done extensive studying of Courthouse. This "studying" has consisted of the following; crack open a beer, sit on my front deck, look at the mountain and drink said beer. My eyes were always drawn to the North Shoulder of the peak. There appeared to be a definite flat spot and some surrounding vegetation but I could not be sure because the mountain is about 10 miles away. Imagine my surprise when I reached tree-line and saw the exact spot looking even better than I had imagined it! It was flat, the ground was soft, It had small trees for protection and the views were... (see above!). The weather started to look real threatening so I quickly set up the tent and then headed up to the summit. It snowed a bit, rained a bit and then got real beautiful! I walked the entire perimeter of the mountain checking out all it's huge cliffs along the way. Courthouse is shaped like a big box. The North, South and West faces are sheer cliffs. Only the East face allows access to the summit for those of us who are not rock climbers. I watched the sun set over my home town and then headed back to "high camp." My wife and I had set up a time (10pm) where I was going to flash her with the camera and she was going to look for it from our front porch. I looked up at the summit around 9:30pm and regretted ever telling her I would do it. It was very dark and I was not looking forward to climbing up there with only one light. It turned out to be fine and I flashed my wife. "He said flashed my wife." Believe it or not she actually saw it! I was convinced no one would. So there is a little survival tip for you; flash your camera if you want to be found in the dark. I was happy to NOT be found on this night and enjoyed the rest my adventure to it's fullest. I went to the summit once more the next day and then headed down. What a great trip! I am 43 years old and I have climbed hundreds of mountains but never slept on top of one until now. Whats next?

Present Tense

All caught up! Here we are in real time. The picture above was taken from my front porch. The mountain in the center is called Courthouse. My next adventure will be spending 24 hours on it! The weather is looking "interesting" so I may be in for a good time! These adventures have been fun. I recommend them to everyone. Spending 24 hours alone is in itself, always good. No cell phones, no computers, no conversation (except with yourself), just you and the earth! After my lake adventure I have realized that my New Year's Resolution is more a tribute to my Mom than some attempt to re-gain my former (adventurous) life. I am what I am because of her. Sometime in my childhood I learned to be adventurous. Now that she is gone, I am just being her son. These adventures have helped me to re-appreciate my life and all it's comforts. I am fortunate and blessed. My wife is the most amazing woman I have ever met. My family is a constant source of inspiration. My friends are some of the coolest people on the planet. My dogs are happy freaks. I live in a beautiful place surrounded by mountains and despite some knee pain along the way, I am still able to enjoy them! Speaking of which, it is about time to head off to my next adventure. I will talk to you after 24 hours on a mountain.

August

8th Adventure; 24 hours on the water. The plan was to rent a sea kayak and spend 24 hours floating on the water without touching land! I intentionally set this adventure up so it would occur on the one year anniversary of my mother's death. I wanted to be alone and also spend some quality time reflecting on my life without her. I left shore around 5p.m. and headed straight to the other side of the lake. The wind was blowing hard and in 10 minutes I was about as wet as I could be! I am not a big fan of the water. Personally I enjoy land much more. The idea of spending the night floating on this boat was not appealing to me. I decided if I fell in the water during the night, the adventure was over! Like last month, this adventure was all about surviving the night. Tomorrow I could paddle around, do some fishing, swim a bit and just float. Tonight would be the challenge! I slept like crap! The waves were big enough to keep the boat rocking and the dark clouds threatened rain all night. I had thought of quitting several times during the night, I longed to have the ground beneath my feet. Rocking around and trying to sleep in this tiny, wet boat was not fun at all! I thought of last months adventure; how nice it would it be to sleep on the ground next to a fire... Sunrise finally came and my spirits were lifted immediately. With great care I was able set up my stove and brew myself a cup coffee. "Delicious!" It was a beautiful morning made better by the fact that I had survived the night! As I took off to paddle across the lake, I threw on a beanie my mom had made me years ago. I began to experience an intense rush of emotion. I had missed my mom plenty this year but never as much as I did right now! Here I was, paddling around some lake crying my eyes out. Funny thing was though, I was happy! I felt as though my mom was telling me it was all O.K. now. I cried and laughed and felt the release of a year's worth of depression, sadness and loss. I knew when I touched earth again I would be a different person. It was time to accept that she was gone. It was time to stop letting her loss drag me down. It was time to believe that we are both in a better place. "No doubt, the universe is unfolding as it should." The rest of the day was bliss. I fished, swam, got rained on and paddled the shit out of that lake! I began to realize I was starting to like the water. Believe it or not I was regretting the moment I would leave the boat. 5pm came way too fast and another amazing adventure was over. It had been a good one...the best yet! As I staggered to the truck, suffering from my first experience with sea legs, the smile on my face would not go away. Thanks mom!

July

7th adventure; "Nothing but the clothes on my back." My wife snapped this shot as I walked out the door at 7am with all the above. She talked me into taking 32 ounces of water, a lighter and my dog Rudy. I decided to head towards the local reservoir a couple miles away because I knew it was going to be a hot day. A bullet flew over my head not 5 minutes into this adventure! There is a shooting range nearby and I later learned it happens "all the time." Either way, it was an exciting start to the day. Once at the reservoir, I hunkered down in the shade and tried to not let the mosquitoes bother me even though they were thick and eating me alive! I wanted to hike around but I was worried about my 24 hour water supply so I resisted. It was a hot day! I took a couple skinny dips in the water and got busted once by a woman in a sea kayak. She did not seem to mind. A piece of driftwood became my best friend and also occupied much of my time as I carved patterns into it with a rock. It's weird being out "there" all alone and just passing the time. I was bored! I knew this adventure would be all about the night. Here in southwest Colorado, we can have some hot days in July but also some cold nights! I had no tent, no sleeping bag and no thermal underwear. I was glad I brought a lighter. I found a nice spot by the river and lit a fire. Finally the day-long mosquito torture was over. It was still warm but I knew it would not last. Again, very weird! Curled up on the ground, thirsty, hungry and wishing my shoes smelled better (I was using them as a pillow). The night found me waking up cold, re-starting the fire, falling back to sleep, repeat. I awoke once to a horrible baby-like cry that sent me straight to my feet. I had my driftwood friend in hand like I was ready for a gang fight! My Jack Russel (Rudy) is famous for barking at just about anything! On any given day he will bark at butterflies, the doorbell, passing cars or even the wind. It's just what Rudy does. Not tonight. Not now! He was curled up under a bush looking like he had just seen a ghost. The cry happened again and I decided I would confront whatever it was and let "it" know what was up. I screamed out "I don't know what you are or what you want? I am just here till the sun comes up. If you want trouble then bring it now. Otherwise, I will be out of here at first light." First light it was! I later learned that what I heard was most likely a female mountain lion! I like to think she was just letting me know who was the "boss." I walked back home and opened the door at 6am. The adventure had only been 23 hours but I decided it still qualified. I was hungry and thirsty but sleep won the battle. I love sunrise. I love my bed. I love blankets. I love shelter. I love that warm body next to me. I love my driftwood friend!